Results

Snoopy's Friends were beaten in a high scoring match by The Mad Dogs (Fifth Finger as was)

 (You will note, Kieran, that I have succumbed to the renaming but for brevity's sake I'm going to stick to the shortened version rather than the full "Three Mad Dogs and a Cherry")

Albert Park coasted home against 3 Electric Pigs

St Caths failed again - this time against Opsimaths who have now notched 4 straight wins following 7 straight defeats

Albert satisfied the form book by losing at home to table toppers FCEK

X-Pats went down at home to third-placed History Men

The Paper

This week the paper came from Ethel Rodin.  A popular quiz by all accounts.  High-scoring with a mixture of themed rounds, paired rounds and 'hotchpotch' rounds.  Damian from FCEK comments:

"Overall, another good quiz from Madame Ethel.  Can't think of any one question to nominate for Q of the W as they all seemed fair, straightforward and uncontroversial.  Just one teeny quibble though with the "precious stones" theme round.  Apart from the most diehard of Dad's Army fans, did anyone actually know the name of the actress who played Pike's mother?

That aside, and despite the reluctance of Father M to admit that he is a closet Thunderbirds Fan by pretending not to know the answer to the one about Thunderbird One, it was a thoroughly pleasant and civilised evening, much as we have come to expect from playing the Albert.  Evelyn, by the way, kindly forewarned us all that she is intending to set a round on "Great British Moths" (or was is it Myths?) when Albert next set!"

Like Damian, everyone I have talked to so far commented on the obscurity of the 'Mrs Pike' question (see QotW below).  Ivor thought it the toughest question so far this season.  Anybody get it right?

Question of the Week

Dave Rainford provides the nomination this week - and his vote goes to Round 6 Q4 (each answer in this round featured the name of a precious stone):

What was the name of the actress who played Mrs Pike in Dad's Army?

Click here to see the answers to this and the rest of the week's questions and answers.

The Albert Club & The Fletcher Moss

The Albert Club have decided to resurrect their monthly quiz evenings every fourth Monday.  The first of the new series will be on Monday January 30th from 8.15pm.  I'm organising this event - and setting the first paper.  There will be prizes and you will be made very welcome at the Club.  Why not put it in the diary?

And while we're on about quiz evenings, Andrew Simcock writes.....

"The Fletcher Moss pub in Didsbury is having a quiz night on Monday 6th February in aid of Francis House.  All Withquizzers are very welcome.

The idea originated with one of the bartenders who is training to become a publican and asked Ken, the landlord, if he could organise the event as a project (for the aficionados amongst you that means it is NOT a Frankie quiz!).

All those who are interested please turn up on February 6th and we will set up the teams of four by drawing names out of a hat. 

Please let me know if you’d like to join in - and if you’re turning up with someone else.  I’ll make more detailed arrangements in due course.

Regards, Andrew"

         Fr Megson

           If Only It Were That Simple...........

A Chairde,

The Withquiz call centre - recently outsourced and now working 24/7 from a disused mineshaft in Doveholes - has only been inundated by one letter this week.  It comes, as ever, from Colinski, a left-leaning scribbler from Bialystok whose epic travelogue KAZAKHSTAN - A GIANT STEPPE FOR MANKIND, BUT MOSTLY FOR SHEEP AND GOATS won the coveted 'most pulped book of the year' award back in 1953.

He asks:

Has this ever happened to you?  You've just been kicked out of the Fletcher Moss on a Monday night in January.  You watch disconsolately as the teeming rain reduces your beloved and unfinished crossword to the consistency of papier maché.  A shiver of atavistic existentialism races down your spine as you observe the sodden squalor of Didsbury's ginnels reflected through the sickly Lucozade-tainted glow of the street lights and you suddenly and life-affirmingly think: "I don't want to be called Colinski any more.  I want to be called Boris The Macedonian".

Funnily enough, exactly the same thing happened to me last Monday night.  Spooky or what?

Now that I've made up my mind to follow this inner voice, I was wondering if any of your late night listeners might know or care if the local GPO keeps forms for people who wish to change their name to Boris The Macedonian?  I won't be getting up tomorrow but you can catch me in the fish shop on Friday any time after elevenses.

P.S. I love your show.

There's something very comforting about people who like to rant in the middle of the night.

Roisin replies:

Next PLEASE. Over here ye blind bat....make it snappy....I've not even had my morning beer break yet. You should really be in the "Boris The Macedonian" application queue but I'll serve you anyway 'cause I like the cut of your jib. 

It's quite simple really.  Why people have to be spoon-fed, I'll never know.

You'll need a form BM1611b(rev2003). Then you'll need to show 9 household bills to prove that you currently exist as Colinski.  Plus of course the obligatory 5 photographs, at least 4 of which must bear a true likeness of you. Please note that, in their renewed efforts to wipe out terrorists and other non-Blair voters, HM Government now insist that all photos must be doubly authenticated.  So you will need 2 professional people (3 in the case of judges) to countersign form PH27(c) attesting to the fact that you were alone in the booth at the time of development.

You must also ensure that your ear lobes are lined up correctly.  Neither of them should be allowed to stray more than 26cms from the tip of your nose.  Smiling is of course strictly prohibited unless in possession of form PSY196(b) outlining how long you have been in psychiatric care.  You must also be aware that if in the last 25 years you have submitted an application to hold a dog licence (either in black and white or in colour) you will need to furnish a DG4 exemption certificate.  Don't worry unduly about this one, they hardly ever turn down an application - in fact most people get them back less than a month after their application has been processed.

No ,the real problem is getting hold of the V81 DG4 which is the form you need to apply for the DG4 exemption certificate.  We normally have them here but, due to an unprecedented run on them recently, they are out of stock at the moment.  If you care to call back after 4 pm a week on Friday we should be in a better position to let you know why they haven't arrived yet.

If I can be of any further assistance then please don't hesitate to ask one of my colleagues.  And may I just say how much I'm looking forward to calling you Boris The Macedonian.

The rest of ye please note that I'm fcekin' SHUT here now.

Fr. Megson.