The Results

Despite turning up with 10 candidate team members (Tony's grandson was there with all his mates), and keeping on level terms until Round 6, Snoopy's Friends found themselves soundly blockbustered in Rounds 7 and 8 by the Opsimaths

Getaways got caught at home to an improving Albert - Mary writes in:

"An enjoyable evening at an unusually crowded and noisy Gateway.  There was a football match on the TV plus a group returning from the Cheltenham races.  The bingo rounds were much enjoyed by both teams.  With the Getaways one short Albert's early lead proved the crucial factor."

Electric Pigs completed their ritual double against SPW - a defeat at the Fletcher Moss to go with their loss earlier in the season at the Griffin

Ethel Rodin went down at the Stadium of Murk to give X-Pats a much needed victory

History Men relocated to the Parrswood (the Red was packed and noisy) but still managed a thoroughly convincing win over TMTCH - in the process notching up 50 points

Question Paper - The Verdict

This week the questions were set by Charabancs of Fire.  Aggregate scores were high and reactions have been universally favourable.

At The Didsbury we were packed into the cosy area up a few steps from the main lounge area en route to the upstairs suite (where the Didsbury WI were going at it hammer and tongs).  75% of the Charabancs had turned up to spectate and, if necesary, defend their efforts.  There was no need.  It was a cracking paper enjoyed by all of us  The Blockbuster Bingo worked excellently (why has nobody else tried out this format since the Charas gave it a whirl last year?) and the themes were nicely pitched (although poor Brian wouldn't agree with me going first and having to navigate 2 of his 8 questions with none of the thematic help the rest of us enjoyed).

At the Fletcher Moss Kieran comments:

"Pretty good all round - and we were able to bring the Pigs' revival to an end!"

.....whilst at the Red/Parrswood Ivor reflects:

"The Red Lion (surely the noisiest venue on our quiz circuit) was worse than usual.  All the chairs had disappeared because of some soccer game or something. DON’T THESE PEOPLE KNOW THERE IS A SERIOUS QUIZ ON?  We conceded home advantage and relocated to the Parrswood which was a haven of tranquility.  Although the Arsenal game was on the big screen it would appear that the cosy décor and restrained lighting attracts few Gooners.  TMTCH have the most capacious and luxurious stadium and it must be a pain for Dave when he has to stoop into the 17th century snug for persons of restricted growth that is our beloved home.

The paper was well received with only two unanswered questions.  The Historymen did struggle badly on the popular culture round (Round 2) and we didn’t even have Roz’s excuse of not having a television.  We are getting the hang of the Blockbuster quiz (we think) although the trick of going for the longest question on the grounds that there are 6,000,000 possible answers for 'C' and only 5 for 'POJR' does not always work out - especially if it is a song lyric.

QotW?  The Royal missing personages question (a Damian question no doubt) - but I’m biased since I knew the answers as soon as the penny dropped.  It did take a while, however, for the penny to drop which is what makes it more satisfying (like a 2 hour meal in the Third Eye, or a 2 hour lovemaking session with Scarlett Johansson, but I am speculating on both of these)."

and finally Ethel's James writes in:

"Too much popular culture for Ethel's liking and we seemed to pick more than our fair share of unanswered questions in the bingo.

Winning or losing the toss has potential to give an advantage in quizzes with this format, in that there are no paired questions in the second half of the quiz.  Maybe bingo rounds should be in the middle of the quiz - i.e. rounds 3-6.

In general, however, we liked the format.  It's a good way of asking interesting questions without being burdened by having to find 7 others with a similar theme, or another to make a pair.  It does seem to be the case that sometimes the second question of a pair doesn't match the inspirational quality of the first, and occasionally the last few of a set can seem tenuous or contrived. That said, there have been some cracking pairs and themes this year."

'Question of the Week'

This week the vote comes from Snoopy's and goes to Blockbuster Question 4 (EFTS):

The exact, and perhaps surprising, location in North London where American politician and talk-show host, Jerry Springer was born on February 13th 1944?

For the answer to this and all the week's questions click here.

Chatterbox

As this season's undoubted champs of the Setter Stakes I have asked TMTCH if they would set the paper for the first Round of The Val Draper Cup.  According to the message I picked up in the Red last night they were rather expecting to be asked and will happily accept.  Thanks.

And while on this subject can each team captain start preparing questions for the 'Knocked Out United' paper that will be used in the 2 Finals on April 29th.  If you recall each of our 11 teams is being asked to prepare a Round and a Pair.  One of the teams not involved in the Finals will then edit these into a paper (using the material submitted by the 7 teams not ending up in one of the finals).

An apology from me.  I promised to correct last week's SPW-given answer for the Pencil Museum (Round 1 Question 7) from Kendal to Keswick.  I forgot.  Tony pointed out this omission to me earlier this evening in The Didsbury.  I've now put it right (unless, of course, SPW wish to dispute the point in which case I'll go to a third umpire).

Megson's Pulpit

Another blast from the past.  This piece of Megsonia was published on the website on April 16th 2003.

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Ballyboke Bugle Saturday Supplement

Legend tells us that on St. George's Day 2003 the white Knights of The Companions of St. Snoopy did mortal battle with the noisome maiden-mauling, vindaloo-swilling Braggarts of Griff.  Today to mark the Millennium of this, the kid sister of all battles, we revisit Snoopy and, in the tired and detested format of a more famous but less worthy Saturday supplement, we subject them to a toe-curlingly fatuous Q + A session.  No names have been changed to protect the innocent and it should be noted that the editor is insolvent as he had to buy another loaf at lunchtime. 

Home for Snoopy's Friends is a large detached neo-Romany caravan which clings idyllically but frantically to the westernmost tip of the third Reek from the sun.  When I arrive I find that all the others have gone out otter-tagging leaving the paterfamilias to field my questions unconferred - thus at a stroke doubling the fee.  I am surprised to find that he is in fact Sassenach-born, a cross he seems to bear with good humour and great fortitude.  Looking cool yet reassuringly avuncular in a cerise kaftan with matching deerstalker and bedsocks he drapes himself luxuriously across an accommodating ottoman and, sucking ruminatively on his meerschaum, signals me to begin: 

Q:  Firstly, a question often asked by housewives who can't resist a flutter on you, is 'Snoopy's Friends' your real name?

A:  (Laughing and peeling a kumquat).  Good Heavens, no.  No that name goes back to the early 90's when we were big in the world of rap music.  We have kept it partly for reasons of nostalgia and partly to confuse the tax man.  No, our real name is 'The Wife and Bairns of Judge Roy Bean'. 

Q:  When did you first break into the world of TV stardom?

A:  I think it was in 1685 (gosh I'm showing my age now!) when we were lucky enough to be asked to host the popular light entertainment programme 'Sunday Night At The Bloody Assizes' .  Do you remember 'Beat the Clock-Watcher'? That was our idea.  Of course not many people had clocks or even TVs in those innocent days. 

Q:  Do you believe in Life?

A:  Yes.  Especially for those irritating people who insist on reusing partly franked postage stamps. 

Q:  And Death?

A:  If the black cap fits. 

Q:  And Life after Death?

A:  No. The quality of mercy is not strained but droppeth like a gentle Fr. Megson from the Premiership.  Ergo, the two sentences should be allowed to run concurrently. 

Q:  And less boringly, what's your favourite Boy Band?

A:  (Polishing a papaya with gusto).  Atomic Kitten. 

Q:  What is your greatest strength?

A:  An esoteric knowledge of Irish geography.  My family has had moles in the Reeks for centuries and they keep us fully informed.  And before you ask we don't have any weaknesses.  Incidentally, did you know that the medieval Reeks were divided into 14 ridings just like Somerset?  Marvellous! 

Q:  What is your favourite smell?

A:  Exhibit "A" from The Crown versus Keith Moon at The Old Bailey in September 1972. 

Q:  And your favourite fantasy?

A:  It used to be coming off the bench, still in my robes, to score the winning goal in the All-Ireland Hurling final (a more dapper version of that chap in the Guinness advert).  I can't really discuss my more recent one as it is currently sub judice - anyway it's none of your business, slaphead! 

Q:  What keeps you awake at night?

A:  Dangling participles, Schrödinger's Cat and bad-boy Braggarts throwing stones at my window. 

Q:  Should the Royal Family be scrapped?

A:  No, not all of them.  Just the big fat geezer in the armchair.  He should be ashamed of himself, he should. 

Q:  How would you define a perfect question?

A:  One that is left hanging in the air for a while before it is allowed to go begging. 

Q:  What is the one most important lesson that Latin has taught you in life?

A:  (Looking darkly into his half-eaten pomegranate) "Mens imbuta vino volat ad pudenda." 

Q:  If you could take only one dyslexic anagram with you to your Desert Island to remind you of your colleagues in the Reeks quiz league which one would you choose.

A:  GRABING FFRIGG-RATS. 

Q:  Finally, how would you like to be remembered?

A:  Instantaneously and for 2 points (imagine the ignominy if my family had to confer!). 

Fr Megson 

Editor's note:

Julie O' Burchill is unwell (a vented spleen following a surfeit of french fries).  I'm sure all our readers will join our circulation manager in wishing her a very slow recovery.