The Results

This week the WIST Champion's Cup Semi Finals:

Alexandra, despite having home advantage and going into an early lead, played true to the form book by getting beaten by the undisputed 'SPW of Stockport', and last year's WIST Champions, Chunky

Charabancs of Fire were oh so close, but just ended up one point down in a seesaw match against a 3-man Tiviot team - Damian writes:

"We did our very best - indeed we were in the lead by 6 points at the end of Round 3 - but the twists and turns of the questions reduced our lead to 1 point by half-time.  In the second half, the Tiviot team steadily forged ahead as their knowledge of Manchester landmarks greatly exceeded our knowledge of the Stockport variety (Father M has recently been forced to become an honorary Stockportian but his knowledge of his new surroundings has yet to bear fruit in a close quiz contest v a team that actually hails from that fair metropolis!).

By the end of Round 7,we had managed to catch up and reduce the deficit to 2 points and then to get the better of our opponents in the final round to level the match at 31 points all.  But the tie-breaker round did for us.  There were only 5 points scored in the entire round but the Tiviot's superior knowledge of world-famous Somalian singers finally swung it in their favour!  Game over but an exciting and close contest right up to the final whistle.  Especial congratulations to our opponents who clawed victory back from the jaws of defeat.  One can only speculate how the match would have gone had they had 4 people on the team!"

Question Paper - The Verdict

This week the questions were set by the Stockport League (Richard August of the Crown team to be precise).

The average aggregate score was 67.5.  On the low side, but by no means the lowest of the season.

Damian comments on the paper from the Charas' perspective:

"The paper was a curious mixture of the familiar and the obscure, but it was evenly balanced.  The Tiviot got the better of us on what we thought were the more obscure topics.  By and large the subject matter did not suit our tastes but we couldn't complain about the fairness of the distribution of themes and angles.

At least we've been spared the annual drubbing at the hands of Chunky!!"

I was away and so did not see the paper being played out at the White Swan.  Now I have seen it I like it.  It varies the style from round to round nicely (implicit themes, explicit themes, pictures etc.) and it seems to me to hit about the right level of difficulty.  On the subject of themes did anyone find the Round 3 theme (Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band's The Intro and the Outro) of any help when it was declared?  I'd never heard of it.  Just as well it was declared else I suspect both teams would have spent ages fruitlessly searching for links between the answers. 

If I was pushed then perhaps there were a little too many 'either you know it or you don't type questions' - it's always nice to have a few questions were there is scope to work it out in conference from ancilliary information given in the question - but on the whole an above average standard.  So, many thanks Richard.

Chatterbox

If you've been keeping tabs on our Message Board you'll have seen the posting from Mike Heale's brother, Stephen.  Mike's funeral  will be at Southern Cemetery this Thursday April 2nd at 11.15 am.

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Next Wednesday (April 8th) we start the Val Draper/Plate Cup competitions.  Many thanks to TMTCH who have agreed to set the paper for the first round.

Papers for future rounds will be set by two of next Wednesday's losers and then by a rainbow alliance of knocked out teams for the finals.  Each team should be preparing a round for submission as a candidate round for the finals paper - and also a pair of questions to go into Round 8 of the finals paper.  I will appoint an editor for this paper once we know which teams are going to fall at the first.

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With the WIST Champion's Cup Final turning out to be an all Stockport affair I propose we book Wednesday May 6th (one week after the Val Draper & Plate Cup Final games) as the date for our end of season presentation evening at the Albert Club.  Do let me know if there are any compelling reasons not to go for this date.  Thanks.

Megson's Pulpit

Another blast from the past.  This piece was published on the website on December 19th 2003..........

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An Easter (?) newsletter from Fr M

Both the little hand and the big hand are moving very rapidly leaving Fr Megson in a spiritual pickle as he, already a little behind this year, struggles valiantly if somewhat ineptly to get his Easter cards out on time.  His unanswered fan mail is mounting up as well.  Not to mention the bills and the threatening letters from irate husbands.  A good job he doesn't have to update his quiz team's points total every week or the pressure would drive him mental.  If you don't believe him,  just ask his imaginary friend.

Rest assured, however, that our conscientious cleric will still find time to give his traditional URBIS et PRINTWORKS address to the poor and fuddled masses of Manchester and Salford next Sunday morning immediately after the Blue Peter omnibus.  As is the custom he will rant from the top of the world's highest and emptiest glass display cabinet (but it makes an excellent dry ski slope) situated just opposite Victoria which, coincidentally, is the world's emptiest mainline railway station - with the possible exception of Carrauntouil Central.  His special guest will be Bono, The Reeks very own part time rock legend, cowboy, booted Papal adviser and full time dog's dinner.

The dress rehearsal was held last Friday night and was a great success.  Afterwards Fr Megson and his Turf Accountant repaired furtively to that legendary hostelry of ill-repute The Whippet Inn hard by the Cathedral gates.  Victuals were called for and our loosely frocked priest partook of a goodly chitterling.  "Yum yum, pig's bum!" was the cry.  Whereupon the feisty serving wench from Bohemia dismissively passed it over to the other table for a bonus.  Two butts of lusty Blue Nun were downed without much ceremony and then to pudding; to wit the noisome speciality of the house, Spotted Dick Surprise.  At length a heady Noilly Prat (named after one of Fr Megson's less salubrious Reekish ancestors, did you know?) and a condor moment to round off a perfect evening of quiet and selfless contemplation for our clerical paragon.

And so to bed.

PS. Earlier that evening Fr Megson was in Deansgate playing his kazoo and soliciting for alms when he thought he spotted Barry from Finger V in the window of Waterstones signing copies of Martin Johnson's new autobiography.  Nice work Baz if you can get it.  If you've finished with that library book How to look like a famous rugby player without actually getting your left ear and right buttock bitten off could you forward it to Roisin?  She quite fancies signing copies of the new Jonny Wilkinson cookery book in the window of The Chorlton Bookshop next Tuesday afternoon.  She thinks it's great craic altogether practising his hand movements during the Rosary hour at training.  Fr Megson thinks her soul is now in even greater peril than her mind.

I'll leave you with a heart-warming human interest story from the Withington and Reeks Reporter.  The newspaper that proves that great journalism is not dead - just moribund.

A worrying 48 hours last weekend for members and fans of the St. Kathleen's folkloric musical combo The Funboy Four as their lead spoons-player and mascot went missing presumed lost.  Mike (28) and his beloved mutt Bingo (3) went spelunking in the Blue John mines of Derbyshire early on Friday morning.  The alarm was raised when they failed to return home for their tea (chilli con pilchards and a tin of Bono respectively).  Bassoonist Alan (63) takes up the story:

"We was worried sick.  Still no sign of them at chucking-out time so we sent for the Peelers.  They combed the area with bicycle-lamps and muttered blasphemies but it were fruitless.  You try to stay optimistic, like, but deep down you fear the worst, you know, like a chip pan fire or summat.  It were awful.  It were as much as we could do to sup our ale without going all soppy.

"Still, life has to go on and we were just starting to audition for a new spoons-player on Sunday morning when the happy news broke on Radio Burnage.  Apparently some altruistic American tourists were out weasel-baiting and, blow me, if they didn't find Mikey and Mutty stuffed down a rabbit hole near Takrit which is bloomin' miles down the road from Derbyshire.  There's nowt as queer as folk, I always say.  I thought at least the dog would have had more sense."

Both are now safely back in St. Kathleen's warm and fragrant bosom.  And, despite everything, Mike is determined to play the spoons again.
"That's the last time I let Mike hold the map", chuckled Bingo (82) as they relaxed and posed for our photographer in a communal tin baa'th by an open fire in a parlour bedecked with mistletoe, roasted chestnuts and lachrymose Cockney waifs with beguiling yet strangely irritating speech patterns.

And a jolly Dickensian Christmas to all of you from Fr Megson.