The Results

This week we got back to local matters with the first round of the Val Draper Cup in which 3 of the top 6 teams fell on their swords:

Charabancs of Fire caved in yet again to SPW.  Damian reports:

"After trailing by a couple of points in the Round 1, we managed to level the match at half-time but thereon steadily fell behind.  SPW are just too good for us.  Our ageing brains simply couldn't cope with a whole round on County Durham.  None of us have any special affinity for, or connection with, that particular area - not even the much travelled Father M.  'C'est la vie'  as they say here in cosmopolitan Ladybarn."

Snoopy's Friends were without any legal representation and, for reasons too complicated (and embarrassing) to go into here, were playing their home match at the Albert Club.  As it turned out they couldn't match the firepower of the mighty Opsimaths.  Quote of the week?  When (as QM) I summed up the gist of Round 7 Question 7 with the words "You're looking for a dead bird", Snoopy's Bob was heard by one and all to proclaim "Aren't we all?"

History Men having already lost twice this season to Ethel Rodin managed to reverse the trend coming out on top by 5 points

Question Paper - The Verdict

This week the questions were set by The Men They Couldn't Hang.

Dave and his team's artistry just gets better and better.  Every Question paper envelope was embellished with personalised cartoons picking up on some foible/piece of gossip relating to the actual teams to whom the envelope was addressed (for example Kieran's mob were characterised as the Sardine Preoccupied Walruses).  I've reproduced the Snoopy's/Opsimaths envelope cover as a memento at the foot of this page.  Inside the envelope it was the usual TMTCH cornucopia of delights put together with loving care by our punk friends.  The average aggregate scores were medium to low but there was plenty of ancillary information to add value to most of the questions.  If I was forced to be picky then I thought the culinary theme round (Round 7) was a little undercooked (ho! ho!).  By question 8 it was looking like a thin gruel.

The location of the assassination of the last Great Auk (Round 7 Question 7) is the subject of much speculation in ornithological circles.  Sure I've heard St Kilda cited, but up in Papa Westray in the Orkneys there is a similar claim.  They say the last of this portly species had hedgehopped its way down from Iceland hoping to find a mate in the warmer climes of the Orkneys.  Imagine it's horror as it sighted land after days and days of this perilous journey expecting to fall into the wings of a warm plump mummy Auk only to find there on the cliff top a wild-eyed, red-haired, skirted jock with an enormous blunderbuss.  It's enough to make you want to go to The Lodge, Sandy, Beds and join the RSPB!

Damian's view from Ladybarn:

"TMTCH's questions were a fair and even spread of subject matter.  We were quite good on geological periods, culinary terms, films and authors whilst we slipped up on amateur Tyneside football teams, Tyneside topography and Tyneside lore and legend.  Credit to SPW whose knowledge of these and everything else marks them out as worthy quiz champions.

Our 2 contenders for QotW are:

1. The question about what departed from Tyneside on October 13 1936.  I answered 'The Queen Mary' and our opponents went for a similar nautical answer.  It simply didn't occur to us that the answer was as obvious as ....... (see QotW below)

 

2. The Derek Jarman picture question depicting a scene from The Tempest!  Shame on those of us who reckoned it depicted Fern Britton and hubby Phil Vickery exploring a new recipe for dumplings!!"

Kieran's view from the other side of the front room at the Swan:

"Pretty good all round - highlight was working out as a team the 4 x 110 yards relay answer."

....and finally Ivor from the Parrswood (whence Ethel and the Men decamped after finding the football-frenzied Red too noisy for quizzing):

"Quiz generally well received - full marks for presentation with cartoons on the envelope and no less than two sealed envelopes of tie-breakers (a bit like the secrecy of game shows like Double Your Money).  QM Peter was very happy with the large font print.  To be pernickety the underlining of key answer words was thought to overrule QM discretion - and the very first question was a bit sneaky/tricky with the answer not being a sea area at all. Apart from that, there was  plenty of the non-standard enjoyable quiz fare we have come to expect from TMTCH's platter.  Round of the Week - the Supermarionation memories."

Chatterbox

Three items this week:

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Dave Barras (TMTCH) and a couple of mates are looking for sponsorship on behalf of Cancer Research for a 175mile walk from Ravenglass to Lindisfarne to be completed in 7 days at the back of May.  A couple of years ago they did the Peakland Way (100 miles in 4 days) and raised just over £3500.  Obviously they want to beat that this time round.  They have a page on www.justgiving.com which you can enter by typing 'dave barras' into the 'donate to a friend' box.  If, like me,  you've enjoyed TMTCH's papers this year why not reward Dave with a bit of sponsorship?

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Secondly Andrew (Electric Pigs) has alerted me to the following he has just received.

 

BBC MASTERMIND AUDITION TEAM IN MANCHESTER

A small production team from the BBC are holding open auditions in Manchester for the next series of Mastermind on Wednesday 22nd April.

The team is inviting those who like a challenge to drop into BBC Manchester, New Broadcasting House, Oxford Road, M60 7HB for an informal chat about potential specialist subjects and a quick general knowledge test.

You can report to reception on the day or call us on 0161 244 3434 to book a slot.

There is no money for the victor of this classic cerebral challenge – just the kudos of being recognised as the UK’s Mastermind – that and the Glass Trophy.

Contrary to popular belief the Mastermind team is not looking for experts, it wants people who are prepared to become experts in the subjects that they love.  So if you are over 18 years old and have a passion such as History, Food, Religion, Music or Movies then maybe you should think about applying - the list really is as long and as varied as the interests of the British public. 

 ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Mastermind is widely regarded as the most rigorous and intellectual of British quiz shows and is one of television's most enduring successes.  The programme was the brainchild of TV producer Bill Wright, a former RAF gunner, who drew on his wartime experience as a Prisoner of War in Germany to create the format for the show.  For Mastermind contestants, isolated under the spotlight, name, rank and number was replaced by name, occupation and specialist subject.

As is often the way, some of the best concepts are those with simplicity – and Mastermind has an elegant symmetry.  Two rounds of questions, each lasting two minutes.  Specialist Subjects are taken first and followed by the General Knowledge round.  The question master is John Humphrys – presenter of BBC Radio Four’s Today programme.

PRESS CONTACT: Rob Dearden Tel: 0161 244 3434

Robert.Dearden@bbc.co.uk

Rob Dearden
Researcher - Mastermind
BBC Entertainment Manchester
Rm 4012, NBH Manchester, M60 1SJ
Tel: 0161 244 3434
Int: 43434
Mob: 0784 144 7137

If you are thinking of following in Damian's footsteps and having a go at Mastermind you might well have Andrew to contend with.  He tells me he will be there on April 22nd.  I wonder what his specialist subject will be?

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.....and finally another TV programme in search of fodder.  I received this just yesterday:

"My name is Naomi Richardson and I am currently working on the BBC2 quiz show 'Are you an Egghead?'

The show is back for a second series and we are looking for new contestants who think they have what it takes to be the next general knowledge goliath.

The winning contestant will join the rest of the Eggheads team on the Eggheads panel and will be challenged by teams of five whose aims are to defeat the Eggheads and take away the cash prize!

We are looking for new and interesting individuals to join the Eggheads team.  If anyone is interested they can contact me directly and I will send them an application form.

All applications need to be returned by 1st May 2009.

Hopefully we will be hearing from you soon, if you have any further questions, do not hesitate to contact me.

Naomi Richardson

0207 156 5774

naomi.richardson@12yard.com"

I think I might even have a go at this one.  Remember Dave R was on this programme last year and got through to the semis.

Megson's Pulpit

Another blast from the past.  This piece was published on the website on February 5th 2004..........

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Not The Only Fruitcake

A Chairde,

Fr. Megson had a fax this morning from some priests belonging to the Loyalist 'Red Hand of The Northern Reeks' faction (motto: 'Keep the Northern Reeks tidy and British') .  In it they said how much they enjoyed last night's quiz and how it more than made up for not finding any useful Weapons of Mass Destruction in Ethel's handbag when she went to the toilet.

"We hadn't been expecting to enjoy our visit to the Southern Reeks", it went on.  "We always thought youse lot down there were nothing but big girls' blouses who spent all yer time drinking, telling ghost stories, listening to Daniel O'Donnell tapes, going to confession and supporting Man. Utd.  Well, we weren't far wrong and yer fancy so-called European money is crap as well.  We'll stick to our tried and tested half-crowns if youse don't mind.  But fair's fair and I must say it was a pleasant surprise to fly into Myles Na Gopaleen International airport and be met by hordes of saucy Orange gangsters running amok and chanting 'we've got an Occam's razor and we know how to use it' (while taking care not to presume that it exists unless it becomes absolutely necessary).

"Bloody brilliant craic.  It was just like being at home in Portadown on a wet Saturday night only without the red,white and blue bunting on the Town Hall."

Fr. Megson was more circumspect.

"The quiz was OK", he opined, "but it lacked a little how you say, Je ne sais rien.  You know how when you go to the park with your auntie and you are having fun on the see-saw and then a man with a council uniform and a spanner comes over and says, 'Get off the see-saw sonny, we have to tighten a screw or it won't balance properly and then you might fall off and die and go to purgatory and that would really rain on your Sunday parade, wouldn't it?'  Well the quiz last night was a bit like that.  They forgot to pay the man to put the screw in that makes it balance and we got thrown off early and we couldn't get back on but luckily it was only our pride that got hurt although my left knee is still a bit stiff.  To be fair though, Ethel's brain was definitely heavier than ours last night so maybe that's the reason we fell off.

"I think there was a decent quiz in there somewhere but it seemed strangely reluctant to come out and show it's true colours (which were orange and orange).  I know just how it felt - I was a bit frightened to come out and show my true colours with all those Orange gangs cooking their foreign sauces all over the place.  So I spent the final se7en rounds hiding behind Roisin, thinking up new sins for the quiz and reading Damian's copy of 'The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-time' which is a brilliant book about an autistic boy who would make a really good quiz-setter and it just goes to prove that even respected book critics don't always get it wrong.

"And Damian wasn't reading books last night or helping us to lose the quiz because he went to watch two football matches.  A team called Tottenham won the first match 3 - 0 and a team called Manchester City won the second match 4 - 0 which means they win the prize which this week is THE TRIP OF A LIFETIME to Manchester to play another match.  Which, when you think about it, is not a very exotic prize for a team that already lives in Manchester.  But they seemed happy enough in the shower afterwards.  I suppose it beats a trip to the Job Centre in Portadown.

"And Damian says he met one of my old altar boys after the match.  A lad by the name of Jermain Defoe.  He sends his regards to all of you and hopes that Gerry H. is still his number one fan (but I doubt it).  Jermain now plays for Tottenham but he told Damian he is now reconsidering his future.  'I feel I have been a loyal servant to Tottenham Hotspur for the past 24 hours and during that time I have always given my all for the club.  But I think now may be the time to consider moving to a bigger club who can win things and pay me even more money for talking a load of bollix'."